I think that every woman at some point in their life struggles with their self confidence. Whether dealing with looks, intellect, relationships, or occupation, we’ve all found ourselves before questioning our value based on how we’ve compared ourselves to others.

It can be a tricky cycle to get out of, not to mention isolating, because who has enough confidence to admit when they’re not feeling confident while they’re pretending to be confident lol?

There are so many times when I’ve had ideas to do things or create things and didn’t do them. Not because I didn’t have the wherewithal. Not because I didn’t have the time or the resources. And not even because I was being lazy. Looking back at those times, I realize that it was because I didn’t have the confidence. Specifically in releasing creative work, I felt my self confidence take a plunge after giving birth. I had just finished a project that didn’t come out exactly how I thought it would and with being pregnant and finishing my graduate program, I told myself that it was ok to not be creative because I was creating life.

After giving birth I imagined maternity leave to be pure bliss- with my newborn baby being cute and sleeping all the time while I had my feet up, fingers typing away, with all of the ideas just flowing out of me the same why milk was. But that didn’t happen at all. Postpartum was more of an adventure than it was fun. By the time I started finding myself creatively again (through much self work) I became too scared to release any of it.

This website for example has been in the making for 2 whole years. 2 years of me having the ideas and the vision but not having the confidence to build the things that I had imagined.

SOMETIMES ALL YOU’RE MISSING IS THE CONFIDENCE.

Increasing your confidence is like getting a six-pack. It’s not something that just appears overnight, but if you practice those muscles and do exercises and tasks that strengthen those muscles, you’ll eventually feel and see the fruits of your labor. But you have to work at it. Frequently. And it really starts with the little habits, like the time you spend on instagram thinking someone else’s life is better than yours, or in how you talk to yourself in your head when you make little mistakes.

We don’t always realize how the little things that we do throughout our day impact how we see ourselves in the world. I believe that self-confidence can be linked to how much we trust ourselves. Think about all of the times that you said you were going to do something and didn’t do it. It can be a hit to our ego when someone else witnesses it, but even more of a hit to our self-confidence when we witness it within ourselves multiple times. Every time you let your words fall void in dealing with you, you are creating mistrust within yourself. But every time you do what you said you’re going to do, the pride that comes from each accomplishment encourages and restores confidence in your abilities and will reflect in other areas of your life.

Intention is not enough. What matters most is the action.

Developing trust is only one facet of building self-confidence. Another facet is getting out of the comparison game. Comparing can have it’s place at times, but mostly it sets us up to not honor the magic and beauty within ourselves. It takes a lot of self commitment to build your self confidence.

The more you work on SELF, the more authentic self confidence will emerge.

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Your confidence shows up when you show up, consistently. You have to remain open to the changes necessary in creating a better you. Your consistency in showing up will help you focus on what your goals are rather than falling off every time you get frustrated or tired. You’ll find yourself letting go of comparisons to others because you’ll be more in tune with your own potentiality. It’s all about extending grace to yourself while holding yourself accountable of the changes that you want to make.

Self Confidence doesn’t come from inaction. You have to be active in the pursuit of your best self. You have to REALLY put forth the effort. A glimpse of what it took for me was getting consistent with morning meditation, eating intuitively, exercise, and actually sitting down to do the things I said I was going to do. We all have it in us. Your method may not look like mine. Self confidence and the ways to getting there comes in all shapes and sizes. But one thing is for sure (2 for certain) is that it takes effort. You have to find ways to work that self confidence muscle, frequently and consistently.

Thank you for reading!!!