I don’t really need to go into detail about the events of 2020. If you’re reading this, you were there and experienced the many twists and turns that played out. 2020 was a movie for sure. I don’t know the genre or if I’d ever want to see it again for that matter, but it was a movie nonetheless.

Just like everyone else, I’ve set some goals, or as I like to call them, intentions for the new year. I refer to them as intentions because I don’t like the random pressure of resolutions. Many times those of us who have set resolutions rarely see them through – not so much because of our lack of will power, but because many of the resolutions were a reflection of what we’re told we should be doing. But that’s another blog for another day.

With setting some new intentions, I’ve decided to leave several ideas behind that I’ve been holding on to for quite some time. I believe that more than anything, our ability to change our perspective is what gets us to the life that we desire. As we experience more in life we learn that everything isn’t exactly how we’ve seen it or have been taught to see it. Some thoughts may have served a purpose previously, however they become limiting overtime and because life is ever evolving, it’s ok for thoughts to evolve as well.

I’m letting go of these thoughts and behaviors without judgment, but with understanding that they are no longer necessary for this part of my journey. I think that before when I’ve put negative energy on the things I’m trying to unlearn, they always come back because I’m not acknowledging the lesson that was supposed to come from those situations. There’s perspective to gain out of every aspect of life and if we are open to it, we can gain many perspectives that will expose us to infinite possibilities.

8 Things I’m leaving in 2020 are …

• Self doubt
• Self sabotage
• Forced friendships
• The belief that I do not deserve joy
• Taking movement for granted
• Thinking that I cannot have ease
• The belief that I have to fight for everything I want
• Allowing emotional cravings to dictate how I nurture my body

No matter how hard I kept trying to tell myself in 2020 that I couldn’t handle what was going on around me, I kept watching myself rise above. I finally had to stop and acknowledge that I am equipped. There are times when I say this to myself and I feel fear say, “don’t say that because you don’t know what’s to come”, but then I realize that all of my life I’ve never knew what was to come and somehow, no matter how difficult something was, I get to the other side. I remind myself now that no matter what the future holds, I will be equipped because I was created to be equipped. I was born with tools inside of me that are at my use if I have the courage to show up to the occasion. If I show up, the tools unlock themselves. With this mindset, it leaves very little room for self doubt and self sabotage.

I’ve changed my mind about being “nice”. Nice by definition means pleasant, agreeable, satisfactory- all words that insist on being a certain way to appease someone else. And while I do believe in the golden rule of treating people the way you want to be treated along with the idea of karma, it’s an unfair standard to always try to be agreeable to everyone. Instead, I aim to be kind, which by definition means having or showing a friendly, generous, and considerate nature. I’ve learned that I can do this without forcing anything and allowing indifference to simply be that. Because my intentions are pure, I don’t have to feel any kind of way about it. And that’s that on that.

For some reason I feel like I’ve carried a burden of thinking that struggle is the passage way to all things in life but I realize that that doesn’t have to be the case and you don’t have to apologize for it. There were a few times during 2020 when I would catch myself in the moment of feeling joy and immediately feel like I was doing something illegal. I don’t know who told me that I had to be completely depressed and sad all the time while I’m grieving or going through a difficult time, but I realize that that is not true at all. Happiness can be found at every stage in life if you’re open to it. I found out that I deserve just as much as Mama Dee and that I don’t have to ask permission for it.

“Joy is mine!” And I don’t have to fight to prove that or to get that joy even. It can come to me with ease.

Finally, I want to be here for a long time. I want to live a full life and I realize more than ever how important it is for me to nurture my body. Not just to get to a certain size but for me to feel good while I am here. There’s so much out of our control and then there are things that are completely in our control. Grounding myself in who I am and who I’d like to be can help me make better decisions about what I consume and why. I have to radically take care of myself to not only be around for a while but to also teach my children how as well. Sometimes I’ll find myself giving up because of lack of perfection, but progression is what matters more than anything. Even if I fall off, I can pick right back up and not feel like I’m starting over completely. The intention is to keep taking care of myself and getting better at it gradually.

If this happens to resonate with someone, let me know in the comments or send me a DM. I hope to connect with others as we continue through the journey of radical self care. I pray for many restorative blessings this year for us all.

Thanks for reading!